Top 5 Gastronomical Reasons I am Looking Forward to Europe

Rissotto in Venice, Venice is one of the two regions responsible for Rissotto, one of my favorite dishes to make.

Lamb in Nice, If any place knows how to make lamb right, its France. I understand Nice has some of the best restaurants for lamb in France.

Brian's Indian Cooking, When the friend we are staying with in Germany learned that Jodie and I loved Indian cooking, he made it his goal to perfect his Indian recipes. I look forward to comparing notes with him. Especially since Indian food is not my specialty.

Pizza in Rome, Pizza will be different in Italy, I imagine, but it is also its birth

place and I can't wait to try it.

Meat (Hopefully Goat) in Florence, Tuscany has less pasta and more MEAT. They season it simply and marinate, slow-cook or grill it. Mmmmm...meat.

Prosciutto from Italy, I LOVE Prosciuotto, I can't wait to try the real thing.

Cheese Fondue in Germany, My imperfect and incorrect understanding is that they serve cheese fondue before every meal in Germany. They also pass it out free in the streets, and each bite of fondue grants you three wishes.

A REAL Bratwurst in Munich, I

love German cooking and feel a little embarassed that nothing German made it to the top 5. Scnitzel, Spaetzel, etc. all are amazing.

5. Wine in Avignon (Hopefully Chateneuf du Pape,)

The French perfected wine before America was even discovered by Europeans. Their weather isn't as good as ours for wine, but

their centuries of knowledge more than makes up for it.

4. Bread & Cheese in Paris,

I hear their bread and cheese is unlike anywhere else in the world.

3. Pesto in Cinque Terre,

Can these simple ingredients be better in another place in the world? Well, the Italian River

ia invented centuries ago, so if they don't know how to make perfect, who does.

This has been my wife's favorite food since diapers, and she has de

finitley onverted me. I make it frequently.

2. Trappist Beer in Belgium,

This list is full if, "they invented this, they invented that." I'mm sure you're thinking, "what the hell else could they hav

e invented over there?" Well, try BEER.

Trappist Monks #1: "W'ere too poor to afford wine for the sacrament, so we'll have to ferment something else."

Trappist Monk #2: "What could we possibly ferment?"

Trappist Monk #1: "We have tons of Barley, Hops, and Wheat..."

Trappist Monk #2: "Well, that sounds delicious, Trappist Monk One. Perhaps if we add Yeast we can create another beverage of the Gods."

...And so they did. Never again ask what God has done for you, boys and girls. God has given you BEER.

1. Oktoberfest, Yes, I am aware this is the second consecutive listing in the top 5 concerning beer, but I'm going to be in Munich during Oktoberfest! I am going to be in the beer festival capital of the world, in the middle of the BEER FESTIVAL OF THE WORLD. That is not an exxaggeration. That is the fact. Even children drink beer in Munich during Oktoberfest. My ancestors drank beer every year in Munich on Oktoberfest. It's Oktoberfest, man. What Fest is better than a fest celebrating the greatness of BEER? None, I tell you. Oktoberfest shall be the second best day of my life. Not that I expect to remember a whole lot.

Top 5 Unconventional Sports

The rules for sports I consider "unconventional" are as follows:
It cannot be a major sport in any country (therefore no rugby, cricket, polo etc.)
It cannot be an Olympic sport; therefore no skeleton (see future Top 5 most ridiculous sports)


Honarable Mentions:

Dodgeball, The movie sucked. The "sport" is still fuckin' hilarious.
Air Hockey Possibly the only "sport" my wife can ice me at every time.
Mini Golf except for those dame dome hole. You know the ones I'm talking about. The holes that make me go from first to tenth place after 12 goddamn tries to hit the ball just fuckin' right. The holes that make you lose a bet with your friends that may or may not have you riding a mechanical bull after drinks that night...well, you get my point.
Sloshball more of a drinking gamr then a sprt. If you need my reasoning on including drinking games in this category, see "Beer Pong" below. Sloshball is a drinking version of Softball.
Frisbee Golf everyone's favorite game to play with their Dad.
Kickball- I haven't played this in a while, but I want to, anyone game?
Calvinball Look, if anyone actually PLAYED this it would be in the top 5, hands down. Unfourtunately, as far as I know it is only ever played in a comic strip. The best sprt ever played in the best comic strip ever, pherhaps; but still never played by real human beings and their sadly un-imaginary friends. (Since I was once nick-named Hobbes, I deeply regret not including this in my Top 5. Calvin and Hobbes appear in a future top 5, I promise.)

5. Laser Tag
I played this at a bachelor party once. It loses absolutley zero attraction now that you're an adult and "too old enought to play." Barney from How I Met Your Mother will confirm it awesomeness on the show.

4. Beer Pong or Beirut
I have a close friend who is a sports writer. When I asked him if this constituted a sport, this was his reaction...
"Are you kidding me, of course beer pong is a sport. You have to be skilled to excel in something while plastered, and let me tell you kids, I am a mutha fukin champion at this sport. I hit nothing but the last barley and oat in my beer tosses. "
... Look, I have to go with the experts on this one, folks.

3. Paintball
This "sport" gets as far as it does due to sheer awesomeness. It loses some status because it is hard and expensive to play. When you can swing the cost of paintball, do it

.2. Croquet
Downright awesome. Croquet sets are cheap. Now they even have travel croquet sets so you can okay in the park.

1.Ultimate Frisbee
I used to call it Frisbee Football, but, whatever the name, all you need is a frisbee and a bunch of friends.

Top 5 Drinking Games

Kings Cup will not be on this list. It sucks balls. Who wants to play a game where you might have to chug a tequila, zima, martini, and beer mixture? Yeah, I said it...Zima! remember that crap?

Honorable Mentions-

Roxanne- One team takes "Red Light;" the other take "Roxanne." Drink every time your word comes up. I believe "Red Light" wins by one.
Never Have I Ever- As featured on "Lost." Say something you haven't done. Anyone who has done it drinks.
Asshole- A complicated card game that comes down to the politics of revenge.
Keg Stands- Who can be lifted upside down on top of a keg, while chugging through the hose the longest? Does this count as a game?
Up the River, Down the River- Everyone gets four cards. You drink or assign when the dealer shows a matching card depending upon where you are on "the River"
High/Low- Call Higher, Lower, or the color of the next card. Drink half the amount of cards played if you lose.
3 man- a fun drinking dice game
Easter Beer Hunt- Everyone buys a six pack of their choosing. The beers are hidden by friends. The first to finish their six pack wins.
Chutes and Ladders- Drink for every level of chute you go down. Assign for every level you climb a ladder. Every time you land on a multiple of 10, make a rule.

5. Century Club- Take a shot of beer every minute for 100 minutes. Insane? yes. Fun? Definitely.
4. Transformers the Movie- The 80's movie. You know, the one for children? Take a drink every time anything transforms. Chug for the length of time Unicron transforms. This will take you back to your childhood. I promise.
3. Edward 40 hands- Duct tape to 40's of beer to your hands. You may not take them off until you finish both.
2. Beer Pong- Look, I am not very good at this game. Which might be why I like it. Every time I play it, I get drunk.
1. Quarters- Basically, this is Tiddlywinks for adults. You take a quarter and bounce in into one of three shot glasses. If you make it in you get to assign that shot to a player of your choice. Played with beer.