Top 5 Most Ridiculous Sports

It is required that a sport be either recognized as a professional sport by a country or been made an Olympic Sport.

Honorable Mentions:
Bull Fighting- I eat meat, so perhaps this is hypocritical, but do we really need to kill a bull every time someone competes? And torture it first? I mean, if either a) the bull was eaten and put to good use or b) if the bull had a chance at victory. (It dies whether it gets the bull-fighter or not.) Yes, I understand this is a tradition. So was Stoning and Feeding Christians to Lions. I'm just saying...

Cricket- I know that this is Britain's pasttime. I also know it is incomprehensible. This is the only professional sport that breaks for tea!! When I lived in Australia, I got the hang of Rugby and Aussie Rules football, and desperately tried to understand Cricket. But I just couldn't get a hang of it. I swear to you, I watched a batter swing at a ball about 9 times, before finally hitting it straight to some guy about 5 feet away. He ran back and forth between to poles about 3 times before this player got the ball under control and tossed it to the pitcher. The score went from 1250-15 to 175 to 1000.

5. Professional Video Gaming-I went to the playoffs (playoffs!) of the pro video game league. It was my job; they paid me to go. I also won a free x-box 360. How bad does something have to be for them to pay their fans AND raffle off free game consoles? That being said, in the interest of full disclosure, I do love my video games.

4.Synchro-diving-I guess someone had to invent SOMETHING for Chinese athletes to excel at other than gymnastics...Okay, that is mean. But synchronized diving? What about diving was so easy that we require a version where you have to dive simultaneously with another skimpily clad underage diver? This sport had to be invented by the catholic church...Okay, also mean...but...alright, look, I don't have a politically correct way to say how much this sport sucks.

3. Biathalon-Where exactly was the concept for this sport born? Is there a pleothora of countries in which it is required to long distance cross-country ski and then shoot something? Last I checked, not even Canadians were this stupid.

2. Skeleton-When the gold medalists of your sport hadn't even HEARD of the sport the Olympics prior, something is wrong. Manned by failed bobsledders, lugers, and other suicidal men(and women! no testosterone monopoly here!)-for-hire, Skeleton is a head first plunge off the top of a mountain on a sled smaller than your torso.

1. Curling-One guy throws a "thing" on ice at a grid. Two others sweep in front of it to control its speed. distance, and direction. Is it really a sport if you can't picture a little kid thinking at some point, "when I grow up I want to sweep the ice in front of a slow moving puck!" Is there anyone who plays curling who isn't someone too lazy and fat to play hockey?

Top 5 Unconventional Sports

The rules for sports I consider "unconventional" are as follows:
It cannot be a major sport in any country (therefore no rugby, cricket, polo etc.)
It cannot be an Olympic sport; therefore no skeleton (see future Top 5 most ridiculous sports)


Honarable Mentions:

Dodgeball, The movie sucked. The "sport" is still fuckin' hilarious.
Air Hockey Possibly the only "sport" my wife can ice me at every time.
Mini Golf except for those dame dome hole. You know the ones I'm talking about. The holes that make me go from first to tenth place after 12 goddamn tries to hit the ball just fuckin' right. The holes that make you lose a bet with your friends that may or may not have you riding a mechanical bull after drinks that night...well, you get my point.
Sloshball more of a drinking gamr then a sprt. If you need my reasoning on including drinking games in this category, see "Beer Pong" below. Sloshball is a drinking version of Softball.
Frisbee Golf everyone's favorite game to play with their Dad.
Kickball- I haven't played this in a while, but I want to, anyone game?
Calvinball Look, if anyone actually PLAYED this it would be in the top 5, hands down. Unfourtunately, as far as I know it is only ever played in a comic strip. The best sprt ever played in the best comic strip ever, pherhaps; but still never played by real human beings and their sadly un-imaginary friends. (Since I was once nick-named Hobbes, I deeply regret not including this in my Top 5. Calvin and Hobbes appear in a future top 5, I promise.)

5. Laser Tag
I played this at a bachelor party once. It loses absolutley zero attraction now that you're an adult and "too old enought to play." Barney from How I Met Your Mother will confirm it awesomeness on the show.

4. Beer Pong or Beirut
I have a close friend who is a sports writer. When I asked him if this constituted a sport, this was his reaction...
"Are you kidding me, of course beer pong is a sport. You have to be skilled to excel in something while plastered, and let me tell you kids, I am a mutha fukin champion at this sport. I hit nothing but the last barley and oat in my beer tosses. "
... Look, I have to go with the experts on this one, folks.

3. Paintball
This "sport" gets as far as it does due to sheer awesomeness. It loses some status because it is hard and expensive to play. When you can swing the cost of paintball, do it

.2. Croquet
Downright awesome. Croquet sets are cheap. Now they even have travel croquet sets so you can okay in the park.

1.Ultimate Frisbee
I used to call it Frisbee Football, but, whatever the name, all you need is a frisbee and a bunch of friends.